Shame and Guilt

Last week we discussed "wounds" and how they lead to an identity of shame and guilt. If you weren't able to attend last week's meeting your assignment was to define for yourself the terms: embarrassment, guilt, humiliation and shame. It was also to write on a notecard Philippians 1:6 and then on the back of that notecard write your own paraphrase of that verse.

Last week, we heard the explanation of guilt and shame in our Conquerers DVD in terms of a football analogy. Guilt was defined as "you stepped out of bounds" while shame is "no matter what you do you can't get the ball in the end zone."

Below is a discussion of guilt versus shame from the Pirate Monk Podcast.

In this clip, Ramon Presson describes the two main sources of a man's shame: a sense of 1) weakness and 2) failure. He reports that the mindset of a man becomes "I didn't just fail...but rather, I am a failure" and therefore the natural flesh tool becomes "powering up" rather than understanding that the person of Christ is already strong and that were are liberated as we find our identity in Christ. 

I really relate to the conversation about countering the narrative playing in our individual minds. When we get isolated, our inner thoughts become the only source of audio in our life. I tell myself "I am a failure" and subsequently I begin to believe that I must, indeed, be a failure. 

But Jesus says: "If you knew the truth, the truth would set you free" and in his reinstatement of Peter answers him in a very different way: 

Shame over past failures and sins can haunt and inhibit us in many ways. And Satan seeks to steal and destroy our faith by shoving our failures in our face. But Jesus intends to redeem us completely.

When Jesus chose you to be his disciple, he foresaw your future failures as sure as he foresaw Peter’s. We may not want to believe that we could deny Jesus by engaging in a sin that contradicts everything we believe. We must remember what Jesus said to Peter before his failure: “I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Peter was going to sin — miserably. But Jesus had prayed for him. Jesus’ prayer was stronger than Peter’s sin, and it’s stronger than our sin too. “He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them. 

And Jesus is the great restorer of failures who repent. Jesus had said to Peter “when you have turned again [repented], strengthen your brothers.” And there on the beach he again gave Peter the greatest invitation any of us can receive on earth: “Follow me.”

The failure was to be left behind, there was kingdom work to do, and eternal life to enjoy.

Peter’s failure did not define him. And ours will not define us. They are horrible, humbling stumbles along the path of following Jesus, who paid for them all on the cross. And Jesus specializes in transforming failures into rocks of strength for his church.

From Desiring God