Footsteps and Signposts

I used to hate journaling. I thought it was a crutch. Looking back, I realize that I was actually just terrified that somebody might stumble across it and read the truth about me. I always liked the thought of owning a fancy Italian leather-bound journal...I just didn't want to write anything in it.

Regardless, at one of my especially low points, I stumbled across a podcast on mindfulness that seemed...well, a less desperate form of journaling. It was a simple plan for daily self-reflection: Each evening take five minutes and write down three positive things that happened to you and one thing you could have done better that day. 

That's it.

It was less important what was remembered--it might be a cup of coffee, a certain song on the radio, a conversation with a co-worker. Rather, the goal was to remember that life was taking place around you, whether you realized it or not. 

One of the great epiphanies that I have had in my journey to recovery is realizing that pornography has a frightening ability to turn you inward. And when you are only looking inward, its amazing what you miss around you. Plus, being aware helps you to be non-reactive.

I'm so thankful now that I stumbled across that podcast. Because I now have a progress report from various places on my journey. The "three up, one down" journal eventually expanded to a daily check-in with myself. Later, it became a quote and Bible memory repository and finally a hybrid prayer journal. Looking back, these entries are signposts from my journey and they are precious to me. 

I remember finishing the Covenant Eyes 40 Day Challenge and one of their summary points has stuck with me. These points on your journey must be footsteps, not monuments. Because a footstep says "I was once here" while a monument says "this is the furthest made it."

If you are looking for a good place to start this journey, I recommend checking in with yourself first. You might include a memorable verse or quote. 

In the end, I purchased an cheap spiral-bound journal from Walgreen's. It looks industrial and the pages smell like chemicals. Its perfect. Below is one of my signposts from January 2017:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty...For surely he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler. 

-Psalm 91: 3

"O backslider do not despair. Wanderer, though thou hast been, hear what the Redeemer saith: Return, O backsliding children; I will have mercy upon you. 

But you say you cannot return, for you are a captive? Then listen to the promise- Surely he shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler. Thou shall be brought out of all evil from which thou hast fallen. He has loved thee and will not cast thee away. He will receive thee and give the joy and gladness."

-C.H. Spurgeon